There was a sudden shift in my mindset that caused me to start a diet on a Thursday (gasp!) as opposed to my usual Monday and it has more to do with my mental health than my physical one at this point. I have been struggling with PMDD for the last 8 years and many years of a general anxiety disorder prior to that. Paxil seemed to work but caused sexual side effects that were difficult to live with. Once I gradually weaned myself off, I was angry, depressed and suicidal. Suspecting that I might be bipolar, I was prescribed Lamictal. It seems to work for the depression but not for the anxiety, so last week I was prescribed Seroquel, an anti-psychotic medication which is notorious for weight gain – yikes. Now I am starting to get a little worried here.
I have found a psychologist in my area who deals with disordered eating (a new term that I have recently discovered!) and from her online profile, it seems like she is someone I would be comfortable talking to but unfortunately she doesn’t have any openings until July. But I had a discussion with my husband and he suggested we start going to the gym again because he knows how much better my mental health is when I am exercising. It’s not going to cure the anxiety (well maybe it will – who knows!) but I’ll definitely be happier. I am always significantly happier when I am eating better and I’m not sure if it’s because sugar adversely affects my mood or I’m just happy that I’m actively trying to lose weight instead of stuffing my face with chocolate and getting nowhere. Time to do something other than just pop pills in order to deal with my mental health issues.