Pills vs. Exercise

No looking back now! The gym membership has been purchased (daycare included) so it’s a done deal. I’ve worked out twice since we paid for the membership on Friday. My mood is already a hundred times better than before. And I learned if I just loosened the laces on my new shoes, my feet wouldn’t hurt so bad. Who knew??

My eating wasn’t the greatest on the weekend but I kept it in check. I didn’t lose any weight but I didn’t gain any either. Glass half full right? I am down 5 lbs since April 19. That equates to a little more than 2 lbs a week – not too shabby.

I’ve also been taking a large-ish dose of vitamin D and calcium with magnesium which I am sure has helped my mood a bit. At my last physical in October, my doctor told me that I was vitamin D deficient which wasn’t a huge surprise living in a cold, northern climate and not getting enough sun exposure. The problem with vitamin D supplements was that I was getting horrible headaches after taking them. I even tried taking them right before bed and I would wake up with a headache. I started taking them again just before I go to bed and I seem to be handling them better this time around.

So my pre-bedtime regimen of pills/vitamins :

30 mcg of Vitamin D

333 mg of Calcium, 167 mg of Magnesium (also includes another 15 mcg of vitamin D3)

150 mg. Lamotrigine

25 mg Seroquel

I’m not sure if better moods are from pills or exercise – probably a little of both but I’m putting more money on the exercising. I am off to the psychiatrist tomorrow.

My Psychology of Disordered Eating

There was a sudden shift in my mindset that caused me to start a diet on a Thursday (gasp!) as opposed to my usual Monday and it has more to do with my mental health than my physical one at this point. I have been struggling with PMDD for the last 8 years and many years of a general anxiety disorder prior to that. Paxil seemed to work but caused sexual side effects that were difficult to live with. Once I gradually weaned myself off, I was angry, depressed and suicidal. Suspecting that I might be bipolar, I was prescribed Lamictal. It seems to work for the depression but not for the anxiety, so last week I was prescribed Seroquel, an anti-psychotic medication which is notorious for weight gain – yikes. Now I am starting to get a little worried here.

I have found a psychologist in my area who deals with disordered eating (a new term that I have recently discovered!) and from her online profile, it seems like she is someone I would be comfortable talking to but unfortunately she doesn’t have any openings until July. But I had a discussion with my husband and he suggested we start going to the gym again because he knows how much better my mental health is when I am exercising. It’s not going to cure the anxiety (well maybe it will – who knows!) but I’ll definitely be happier. I am always significantly happier when I am eating better and I’m not sure if it’s because sugar adversely affects my mood or I’m just happy that I’m actively trying to lose weight instead of stuffing my face with chocolate and getting nowhere. Time to do something other than just pop pills in order to deal with my mental health issues.